Ah, July 14th, also known as National Nude Day. A day where the people of the world, or at least those that follow these frequent “National” days, celebrate the naked human body. Nudity is one of those peculiar things that seems to piss off an absurd amount of people, and yet, under our various layers of clothing, we’re all naked. Video games have had their share of nude moments for decades and today we’re going to look at 10 Memorable Moments of Nudity in Video Games. These moments are provided in no particular order because, in reality, “number one” is whichever nude moment gets you revved up the most! On that note, we’re a pretty classy site here at COGconnected, so we’ve added a bit of COGcensorship to the pictures – so if you’re here to “wax on, wax off”, you might be a tad disappointed (but, hopefully still inspired). Enjoy!
God of War III – Aphrodite
When you first come across Aphrodite, she’s in bed, breasts exposed, fooling around with two other women. She then encourages Kratos to share her bed. The player, as Kratos, is then given the choice to stay or leave. Choosing to stay pans the camera over to the two naked women Aphrodite was with earlier as they watch Kratos and Aphrodite… wrestle. A quick-time event mini-game ensues and you’ll have to tap your way to satisfying Aphrodite. Good luck concentrating on those quick-time moments…
Heavy Rain – Madison Page
In Heavy Rain, our young journalist Madison Paige at one point takes a hot shower and our friends at Quantic Dream figured they’d give gamers an actual, in-game shower scene, complete with boobs! There was even a glitch in the game that allowed gamers to control a fully nude Madison Page throughout a small portion of the game. I’m going to predict that we won’t be seeing any shower scenes in Quantic Dream’s next game “Detroit Become Human”, because… well, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t get androids wet…
The Saboteur – Strippers
Ah, yes, The Saboteur. A decent open-world game where you play as a badass mechanic in Nazi-occupied Paris. It featured a cool story with World War 2 as the backdrop. However, the game also offered a unique incentive to actually purchase the game – nipples! That’s right, retail copies provided a code for “The Midnight Show” which provided full-on topless strippers. If you rented the game or bought it used, you could also purchase “The Midnight Show” as DLC – and honestly, the DLC was a lot cheaper than a trip to the real strippers…
When our protagonist, Johnny Klebbitz, meets Congressman Thomas Stubbs in a gentleman’s club, the Congressman first starts off in a towel. Soon, the towel decides to take a hike and we have a full on nude Congressman. While we only saw a few glimpses at first, it didn’t take long (tee-hee) that we had full on penis, right there on screen.
Duke Nukem Forever – Strippers
Duke Nukem earns himself a lap dance at a local bar when he takes a break from kicking ass. Unlike the strippers from Duke Nukem 3D, these ladies were completely topless. Duke Nukem Forever sometimes gets a bad rap.. and while it’s by no means perfect, it’s still worth a playthrough, especially if you enjoyed Duke Nukem 3D (and if you never played Duke Nukem 3D, you’re dead to me.). Come Get Some!
The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings – Triss Merigold
Our hero Geralt always seems to be helping the beautiful Triss Merigold, and she doesn’t seem to shy away with providing a little reward now and then (wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?!?). You’ll find Triss naked in both The Witcher 2 and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. And Geralt doesn’t just stop with her… there are plenty of other characters for him to romance along the way too! In fact, I’m actually not sure what else you do in the Witcher games…
Dante’s Inferno – Cleopatra
A boss fight with boobs – how distracting! Sure enough, the evil Cleopatra (who looks like she’s seen better days) is completely topless during the entire battle. You’ll get plenty of views of her breasts as she kills you over and over, as you miss those ridiculous quick time events. Fun!
BMX XXX – Strippers and Bikers!
Someone once uttered the words “let’s combine the excitement of Dave Mirra’s Freestyle BMX and add boobs!”. Silly? Absolutely. But the gameplay was decent (at the time) and providing gamers incentive to keep playing just to see some boobs was actually pretty clever. Completing certain objectives would give gamers a quick clip of a real woman dancing, and the further you got in the game, the less clothes she wore until she was completely topless. Eventually, you could also customize your biker to be topless too. And to top it all off, the soundtrack was just awesome.
Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude – Various
Larry Lovage has been pursuing women through countless point and click adventures, but he never really sealed the deal. Now, his nephew is up for the challenge and it seems that the Lovage track record of coming up short has ended with Magna Cum Laude! The young Larry (and us point and clicker’ers) finally get some actual (but digital) nudity! It’s not an easy task, but a little hard work and you’ll get the payoff.
Conan Exiles – You!
That’s right, in Conan: Exiles, you begin your journey affixed to a cross, and it’s here where you’ll customize your character to match your exact features… or not – it’s your choice! Of course, the highlight here is the inclusion of the penis slider for men and breast slider for women that allow the player to adjust the size of their respective fun bits for the world of Conan to enjoy.
Thanks for joining us as we look at 10 Memorable Moments of Nudity
